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I’m not crying, YOU’RE crying!

You said WHAT?!


Can I ask you a serious question?


Why is it that the word we speak to other women are (generally) positive, accepting, affirming and uplifting – yet the words we speak to ourselves are anything BUT?


If you don’t believe me – think of the last time you said something NICE about yourself – either in your own head or out loud in the presence of others?


(That’s okay. I’ll wait.)


(Take your time.)


(Thought of anything yet?)


Do you know that I am also drawing a blank?


A SERIOUS wake-up call for me.


And then I watched THIS short video and realized that some major changes need to be made in the so-called “Month of Love.”


Here are a few tips that I have gleaned from world experts on how to change that negative inner dialogue that we women after have going on in our heads. Especially those Type A personalities that live (and exercise) among us!


1. Decide that it’s time to be GRATEFUL!


There’s something quite amazing about being grateful – it becomes virtually impossible to focus on anything negative!


You can choose to be grateful for things in your life that you may take for granted – your health, a roof over your head, children, friends, opportunities – list as many as you can while driving in the car – until you run out. Then do the same again tomorrow!


Alternatively, you can choose something that never ceases to make you feel ungrateful, angry, jealous, resentful and defeated – and try to see what positive things have come into your life as result.


For example – if you have a difficult relationship with your mom, perhaps you have made amazing friends instead. If you have battled with challenging health issues, perhaps you have learnt greater self-care or inner strength or learned to lean on people instead of always being the “giver”.


There’s ALWAYS a balance in life – so if you have a negative, it stands to reason that a positive exists in their somewhere. Find it!


2. Avoid negativity


Pay attention to your energy levels – do they rise or fall after time with a friend or reading various social media posts?


Then make small changes accordingly.


This might involve cleaning up your social media feeds and hiding or unfollowing certain people.


Alternatively, you might need to choose to spend more time with people that energise, support you and make you feel good about yourself.


3. Harness the Power of Affirmations


“’I AM’ are two of the most powerful words, for what you put after them shapes your reality.” (Unknown)

Affirmations are strong, positive self-talk statements that can help to reprogram your subconscious mind and internal dialogue.

With regular practice, affirmations can keep your attention on what you WANT rather than what you DON’T.

So, instead of looking in the mirror and saying, “Why can’t Iever lose weight – I have NO self-control,” you instead choose to say, “I am strong, I am healthy, I am eating nutritious food and I am getting closer to my idea weight each and every day.”

See the difference? Pay close attention to how you feel after saying an affirmation as opposed to speaking badly about yourself. Amazing, hey?


4. Do ONE thing each day that is GOOD for you

It might feel good, or not – but make sure that you are doing at least ONE thing that you know with 100% accuracy will improve your health, self-esteem and mental well being.

For me, exercise ticks every single one of those boxes – I have never ONCE said that I wished I handed gone to Boot Camp that day! So showing up for camp, drinking at least 2 liters of water and getting a good night’s sleep are my Bare Minimums – everything else is a bonus!

At the end of the day, your relationship with yourself is a lifelong commitment – put as much effort into it as you do with your other relationships and see what happens!


Make February the month of SELF-LOVE – and start with the words that run through your head. Take control of them TODAY, and teach your daughters and nieces to do the same!

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